Being who we are, what we are, is Zazen.. is our practice. And yet, we can miss this life. Always it is being exactly as we are, where we are - right this moment. And yet, often we manage to avoid who and what we are.
Let us consider Kyogen, who was a student of Isan in 9th century China.
One day he asked about the ultimate truth. Isan said, ' I'm told you studied under my late master Hyakujo and that you are very intelligent. What is your understanding ? What is your original face before your parents were born ? ' Isan is asking. Aside from thoughts about conditions and circumstances - that which you got from your parents, from others - who are you ?
It is a very direct question : Show me - not tell me - show me. I'm not interested in your book learning, in concepts and the other things you have accumulated.
What is this ? Kyogen couldn't respond. He tried to say one thing, tried to explain it, and his teacher said, no, no, that is not this.
Kyogen looked in his books, in his notes, but couldn't come up with anything suitable.
He said to Isan, ' I don't have an answer. Please, teach me the essential point, explain it to me'.
Isan said : 'My explanation would be my own realization. What use would it be to you ? Whatever I have is my own, not yours. And if I tried to explain it to you, you would later revile me'.
Kyogen was very frustrated. He burnt his notes and books, giving up his usual habits of study and practice.
Kyogen states : 'I shall never again study Buddhism. I shall be a plain homeless monk, wandering the roads. I shall torment my mind no longer with such studies, I shall be a rice gruel monk'. 'Rice gruel monk' meaning I will beg for and gather my food, and live a hermit's practice life.
He bade goodbye to his teacher Isan, and went wandering.
He settled down near the tomb of National teacher Echu, living a simple life, sweeping the grounds, caring for the tomb.
'What is your original face ?' asks for our understanding, who and what we are - not something that we have figured our or learned from outside, such as book knowledge; not an explanation; not the habits of body-mind that we turn to in circumstances, in reactions that are almost automatic.
See, the universe is always asking, our life is always asking, 'Show me, right now, who and what you are'.
For all of us, our life is the opportunity to clarify this matter, manifest this. Not as something extra, but in the arising conditions and circumstances. Be this moment. Respond as this. This is all we need to take care of.
Unfortunately, often we are like Kyogen, turning to habits, the things learned, the things figured out. Or, if we don't know what to do, we look elsewhere. Ask people, go to lectures, read things, figure out strategies ; ways that we think are necessary and that will 'enable' us to be who we are. Just this ; and yet we miss this, are confused about this. Often, it is only when these usual habits are frustrated that we open to this fundamental life we are.
Case 5 of the Gateless Gate , the Mumonkan, grows out of Kyogen's own realization ; it is his way of articulating his own struggle and realization. In case 5 Kyogen asks, 'It is like a person up a tree, hanging from a branch by his mouth. His hands can't grasp a bough, his feet won't reach one. Under the tree there is another person, who asked him the meaning of Daruma's coming from the West ?' ( i.e. the meaning of Zen ; the original face, who and what we are ). 'If he doesn't answer, he evades his duty. If he answers, he will lose his life. What should he do ?'
Very straightforward. We could say the hands and feet 'trying to reach' are all the strategies, intellectual and conceptual understanding, like the notes Kyogen had ; in our case the various habits of body-mind that we reach for in reacting to circumstances. What is the problem in habitual reactions ? Most everyday activities like driving require habitual patterns and reactions. Nevertheless, if we are living out of habitual body-mind we perpetuate self-centeredness and delusion, with resulting suffering and harming. We miss this very life that we are.
Mumon's commentary is, 'Even if your eloquence flows like a river it is all in vain, to not avail. Even if you can expound the whole body of the Buddhist teachings, that is also useless. If you can answer the problem properly, you can kill the living and bring the dead to life. But if you can't answer it, you must ask Maitreya when he comes'. Maitreya is the Buddha of a long , long time in the future. It means it is hopeless, you are not going to get it. The verse is, 'Kyogen is just blabbing nonsense, but his poisonous intentions are limitless'.
Poisonous meaning poisoning all that we hold on to, that we get from 'outside'.
'He stops up the monks' mouths and make his whole body the demon eye'.
Stops up the mouths. Though the verse may seem like criticism but it is actually praise.
The case depicts how we might attempt to avoid life, how useless that is and how to practice. Examine this closely, be this trying to reach with hands, with feet, all the ways we try to deal with ever changing conditions.
Kyogen then says, 'No, you can not use any of those'. Kyogen stops up from reaching, from using habitual ways, in order to force us to respond genuinely as the circumstances of this moment.
You must respond - hanging from the tree. Because that is where we all are hanging. No matter what the conditions of the moment, just this. We fool our self if we believe it is otherwise ; fool our self in grabbing with hands, with feet, with mind, with habits. We might even decide that 'original face', 'meaning of Daruma's coming' and an 'inquiry' is artificial, self-defeating.
When Kyogen leaves Isan he has given up trying to figure it out - to use his knowledge and habits to try to answer. Given up seeking from other people and other circumstances what is his own.
'What is your original face ?' points to 'before' all the things that you 'get' from others ; From your parents you 'get' this body-mind ; from people you meet you get all sorts of ideas and habits that you rely on - mental, psychological, philosophical. With his question Kyogen is pulling all that away from you.
And he can do that because he went through that himself.
Not as a planned strategy, 'I'm going to go off and figure this out'. He actually came to the end. He saw that his thoughts, the things he learned, were not useful. He was hanging from the branch by his mouth.
He said : 'I'm not going to get this by figuring it out'.
Being remarkably intelligent didn't make a difference ; it is just one of many habits, strategies and ways that we humans deal with this world. They may be fine, even skillful, except if we become attached and stuck on them, if we think if is the truth of who we are. Then it blinds us and binds us ; it is blinding who we are.
Being who we are, manifesting this everyday life, even the habitual reactions, is that which liberates us from seeming bondage, revealing this liberated life we always are.
Kyogen gave up on 'figuring it out' and decided, ok, I'm simply going to practice, day by day, sweeping the grounds, taking care of the hermitage and memorial.
Doing exactly what he was doing. Living an ordinary, straightforward practice life, forgetting this self-habit, habits of turning to various strategies, in his case, intellectual understanding.
Each of us 'have' habits of body-mind that we turn to. Of course, there is nothing wrong with conceptual understanding, nothing wrong with intellect, with habits, it is just another thing we do, except if we live our life through that and fail to see it as it is, an aspect of our functioning..
One day while sweeping, Kyogen knocked a stone against a bamboo, [ tak ] ! And with that, he was awakened. He burst out laughing. He awakened, opened to who and what he was. He was awakened by 'the ten thousand things', the conditions and circumstances which is always our life. Kyogen cleaned up, lit incense and said to his teacher : 'Your kindness is even greater than my parents. If you had explained it to me, I would have never known this joy'.
The kindness of parents is something that we don't always appreciate, but in Chinese culture, this is the highest praise. Parents give us life, and the opportunity to practice and actualize.
And yet the question is : what is your original face before your parents were born ?
The kindness of parents is great praise ; beyond the kindness of parents he says to his teacher : 'If you had explained this to me', - if I hadn't been forced to face that none of the ways, none of the habits, are it - being forced to turn, to forget my self habit, to be just this - 'how could this have happened ?'
The Chinese tradition is to write a poem upon enlightenment, upon awakening. Kyogen gave this to his teacher :
'One tak,all previous knowledge is forgotten. No artificial cultivation is needed for this. In every moment I uphold the ancient way, and am free from mere quietism. Wherever I go, no traces are left. Senses are not fettered by rules of conduct. Everywhere those who have found this truth proclaim this to be the greatest action'.
Isan accepted the poem. But Isan's senior disciple Kyozan, said, 'Ok, but it is not quite good enough'. So Kyogen wrote another poem :
'My poverty last year was not true poverty. This year it is the real thing. Last year a fine gimlet could find a place. This year, even the gimlet is gone'.
True poverty - not holding onto self, habits, body-mind. Of course, explaining this is not much good. Kyozan said of the second poem, that is ok but still lacking Ancestral Zen. S0 Kyogen wrote another poem :
'I have a single potential. It can be seen in a twinkling of eye. If you still don't understand, call the acolyte and ask him'.
Sound of something struck and I have forgotten all I knew - very clear and straightforward. There is an English expression, 'hanging on by my teeth', which we use as a negative, as a problem. In the Mumonkan case, Kyogen is asking : hanging by your teeth, being this, how do you respond to someone saying show me the meaning of Zen ; show me your life. Simple and straightforward - if you see that your life is always hanging from this branch. Not in a negative sense, not in a sense of desperation - this moment life, right here, right now, is the whole of what you have. Hanging here completely right now, this is it ; you are called on to respond to the circumstances of this moment, respond by showing your self, giving your self to this moment, being this. Always your practice in sesshin is very straightforward. It is being right where you are. Sitting, working, eating. In the midst of your particular practice, being exactly where you are, body-mind, whole universe is hanging from the tree. So what do you do ? What should he do ? Your life asks this all the time. Not to answer with words but with your life. You always respond ; is your response adequate ? Kyogen saw that his old ways of life was not adequate or appropriate. His intellectual understanding and study where not useful, the habits of how he responded to circumstances didn't take care of things. This drove his practice ; and his teacher drove it, not by pushing him, but simply by refusing to give him what he wanted, forcing him to turn, to struggle for himself.
Our life keeps giving us circumstances, sometimes requiring us to respond to seemingly impossible conditions, illness, pain, suffering of those close to us, etc. Hanging from the tree is impossible if we think it out in reasoned terms. If you say anything, aahh ! You lose your life. Falling ! But if you don't answer, you evade your duty - even more, you evade your life, lose your life. See, hanging onto habits and living out of habits, mental, emotional, physical, all the ways we avoid who we are, when we do this we really lose our life, even though we think we are saving our self.
Mumon's poem states, Kyogen really has bad taste, just blabbing nonsense, but his poisonous intentions are limitless. See - he poisons all the things we try to live out of, habits and attachments, because he sets this up so that none of those ways, none of those habits, are adequate. You are just hanging here, and despite the fact that you want it easy, you can not get it from outside, from any one else. But he is straightforwardly setting it out. Here it is. [ tak ] This is your life. You may think you have plenty of time to take care of it and that you don't have to do it right now. But you do. If you don't - you miss your life. Always the practice is simple and straightforward, exactly where you are, no matter the condition, no matter the circumstance. In the midst of ongoing practice, at the appropriate point you see this. Appreciating my teacher's kindness, let me quote two of my teachers : Soen Roshi reminded us, 'all is revealed as is'. So, as Maezumi Roshi often encouraged us, 'appreciate your life'.
By/Elihu Genmyo Smith
Salam,
Cherine
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