Zazen is experiencing ourself - moment, moment. Of course this 'self' isn't 'inside' this skin. This moment opportunity - throughout life. This is not limited to formal zazen. This is so common - and yet it is so uncommon for us to live life as we are, as this experiencing moment. So, zazen, this practice, is most important. Not as a means to get anywhere, not a means to get somewhere else, but being who we always are.
Ideas of what we possess or don't possess are a way we refuse to be who we are - even the idea that there is someone possessing, something to possess. Look for a moment. We feel strongly that we possess all sorts of 'things'. Gain and loss grow from this. Not just things. We 'possess' feelings. We 'possess' memories. We possess attitudes. 'I'm such-and-such; I know such-and-such; I have these skills; I..' - all these things that I possess. All this 'I'.
Believing possessions flows into reactions when 'possessions' aren't the way we want them to be, whether money, people, circumstances in the world - and with that we can get in trouble and cause trouble. But it is not the things that are the problem. Believing I possess this, this permanence that should be so, then when this starts wearing out, I start having problems. Take it away, right there we see reactions. Instead of possessing, this possesses me. Possessions possess me. Not only do they possess me, they create and perpetuate me. So I miss this moment. I miss this moment right now that is my life. Our life, we miss this when we believe possessions, when we hold on to possessions with self, with satisfaction, with permanence. These possessions might be 'He is', 'My'..lover, friend, mother, father. And all that goes with those. Not that we don't love various people, feel connected with them. But the aspect of possessions, of wanting this to be a certain way in order to give us satisfaction is the potential for suffering.
Throughout life we have never possessed anything. At best, we have borrowed many things. We miss this moment, the universe.. We compare how it is and should be and could be. Not possessing anything, not being possessed by any thing, we can possess every thing. Sitting zazen is allowing self, giving self away to the present moment - experiencing this life that we are. Very simple - sitting down and being exactly this moment as is. Forget self - discover this moment life, be free.
All of us practice, whether this is the first time we have sat, or we have been sitting for thirty years, or if we never sit. Our whole life is the practice of encountering this universe that we are, encountering this moment opportunity.
How do you undo sixty years?
This moment! This moment! There is no sixty years.
If you start talking about it, not only do you have sixty years, you have thousands of years; we all have this so-called baggage, but it is only right now. The baggage in the stories, in the culture, in the habits, is endless. But it doesn't make a difference. Just take care of right now. In zazen there is no such past.
Precepts are one way to work with the baggage.
As soon as we get caught up in self and others, we have killed this universal life that we are. Zazen is not being something extra, it is being exactly this moment as it is.
By/ Elihu Genmyo Smith
Salam,
Cherine
